Austin Escorts In The News!

Well the New Year has dawned and still no Apocalypse. Damn, I was so looking forward to rioting and looting! I finally had to cancel my subscription to the “Y2K Survival” Magazine.
It’s 2001. Where the hell is my hovercar? Wow, hey, guess all those past predictions about this year have become pretty disappointing. No moon bases, hover cars, ray guns, alien invaders, flashy futuristic jump suits, black monoliths, or world peace (ha! we were so naive back then).
[NOTE: I had no idea how bad things were going to get 9 months down the road that year]
I worked security at Dallas, a country/western club my uncle manages in Austin, TX. I wore a white tux shirt with a black bow tie, cowboy boots and a black cowboy hat (and trousers of course). I looked more like a stripper at Chippendale’s than club security.

See the full article from “OhmyNews International”

December 21, 2009 1400 +0000 UTC
Rick’s Cabaret International, Inc. Acquires “Joy of Austin” Gentlemen’s Club
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HOUSTON–(BUSINESS WIRE)–Rick’s Cabaret International, Inc. (NASDAQ: RICK), the nation’s leading operator of upscale gentlemen’s clubs, said today it has purchased an adult nightclub located just off Interstate 35 north of Austin, Texas.
The company estimates the new location will add about $800,000 annually in earnings before income tax, depreciation and amortization (EBITDA).
Total purchase price for the club currently known as Joy of Austin was $5.2 million. Rick’s Cabaret paid $2.7 million in cash, plus five year seller notes of $1.85 million at 4.75 percent interest, and assumption of $650,000 in existing mortgage debt. The transaction includes the business and real property.
Eric Langan, President and CEO of Rick’s Cabaret, said: “We have long believed the Austin market is ideal for the Rick’s Cabaret business model. The location we have purchased is more attractive from the standpoint of visibility and accessibility than our previous location in this market.”

See the full article from “dBusinessNews Austin (press release)”

Even if Uchitel doesn’t FEEL like a hooker, and even if she paid for the plane tickets herself – (doubtful given other reports that Tiger would “fly” the women to “meet” him), let’s not forget that she scheduled a press conference to reveal all the dirty details about her escapades with Woods.  And now we’re supposed to believe she was upset that people might form a poor opinion about her because of Joy Behar’s joke?!  She only canceled the media show at the last minute when Tiger “made a phone call” to Uchitel’s lawyer – leading many to speculate that she demanded, and received, cash in exchange for silence.
Whether she traded sex or silence for money, the word “hooker” is fair both as an expression of opinion, and as a joke – and both are forms of protected speech under the First Amendment.  In fact, the word might be too kind.  Trading silence for cash is worse than selling sex because extortion is a more serious felony than prostitution.   

See the full article from “The Patriot Ledger”

Youth wasn’t necessarily a big draw for Woods. While three mistresses started their affairs with Woods when they were in their early 20s, another four began their encounters after turning 30. And the two oldest paramours are no spring chickens at 39 and 49 years old.
4. Blondes Have More Fun
Woods may have told his lovers that his marriage to Elin Nordegren was sexless, but many of his mistresses bear some resemblance to his wife, particularly when it comes to hair color.
Six of the 10 women sport blonde hairdos very similar in style to Nordegren’s. Three go slightly darker. There was only one reported mistress with brown hair.
5. The Seedier the Better
The most consistent attribute that nearly all of Woods’ mistresses share is they spent a lot of time in the seedy underbelly of society. Only one of the 10 women, 49-year-old jeweler Rogers, was not a cocktail waitress, stripper or porn star, or affiliated with a nightclub.

See the full article from “Sphere”

Tiger Woods Offered Strip Club Endorsement for $1 Million
December 17th, 2009 12:07 pm / Author: Mary Beth Quirk
While some of Tiger Woods‘ big name sponsors are closing down the golfer’s campaigns, perhaps he will find comfort in the well-endowed embrace of a new sponsor: Due to his experience with exotic dancers, NYC strip club Scores is offering the pro $1 million to endorse their club as well as become their new Human Resources Director. We can’t wait to see the tag line for that campaign!
Scores sends their offer to Tiger via an open letter, which reads in part:
“Dear Mr. Tiger Woods,
As the nation watches your endorsement deals collapse in the wake of your adultery scandal and doors have been closing on many sponsorships and opportunities, we would like to take this time to present you with an opportunity where we open the doors back up to endorsements.”

See the full article from “OK! Magazine”

The volume of information grew exponentially, as each new skank became the nexus for loads of new information and media. (And photo galleries!) Rachel Uchitel, the original “mistress,” remains the biggest of these sub-stories, with rumors about how she ran a sort of ad-hoc brothel for Woods; that she dated him; that she was going to reverse her denial of the affair; that she didn’t because she’d been paid off by a magazine; and on and on.
But the other women have generated plenty of news, too, from the second madam (no one thinks he actually boned her, we were eventually informed) to the onetime stripper (she didn’t immediately disclose this past occupation, outrageous!) to the porn star (who wouldn’t deny the affair) to the Butter hostess (she got hotel suites) to the friggin’ Perkins waitress (who Tiger supposedly had sex with in a church parking lot; who Tiger liked to spank; who Tiger called “rag doll;” who Tiger liked to… you get the idea).

See the full article from “Gawker”

As the first billion-dollar athlete and a man until recently capable of raking in endorsements of more than US$100 million a year, Woods virtually rewrote the book on celebrity product endorsement. But more than that, his talent, his aura, his charisma, call it what you will, single-handedly made golf cool, sent ratings, tournament sponsorship deals and prize pots through the roof and – as John Daly recently had the good grace to admit – made his fellow golfers much richer on his coattails.
Apart from his early statement about “transgressions” and its subsequent upgrade to “infidelities”, along with pledge to take an “indefinite break” from pro golf, Woods has kept mum on the whole circus (and let’s remember, there’s no proof to back some of the increasingly breathless stories emanating from a cavalcade of ever-more dubious characters – strippers, porn stars and their ilk, all out for a tabloid payday).

See the full article from “Bangkok Post”

December 16th, 2009 LONDON – Tiger Woods’ wife Elin Nordegren could get half the 337.5-million-pound fortune the sportstar has earned as she prepares to meet divorce lawyers, it has emerged. According to reports, the Swedish model has called in California’s top celebrity divorce lawyer.
Playgirl turns down alleged nude pics of Tiger Woods
December 14th, 2009 more imagesWASHINGTON – Tiger Woods’ alleged nude pics will not appear in Playgirl mag as the publication has not been able to authenticate the snaps. “Playgirl has decided to turn down the alleged Tiger Woods nude photos, reportedly taken by camera phone by Woods himself.
Tiger Woods Updates: Latest News & Pictures
December 12th, 2009
San Francisco- The Tiger Woods scandals seem to get spicier and more interesting with every update, and this time, they also came with some pictures. The latest Tiger Woods updates comprise a prostitution ring, a decision of quitting golf, and some nude pictures.

See the full article from “Gaea Times (blog)”

Tiger Woods confessed to associates today that he hasn’t has sex for almost a month. Rumors, accusations, tabloid headlines, and finally a meek confession brought the professional golfer’s sexual escapades to a screeching halt.
Afraid of media exposure, call girl agencies have simply hung up the phone when they learn that Tiger Woods is on the phone. Past girlfriends are miffed over his allegations that ‘they were the only one’ in his life.
Yes readers, Tiger is a lonely guy today, and getting a tad frustrated.
Elin, his wife of five short years, has thrown her wedding ring away after hearing of escapade number 5, now the total is 2,550 and rising, she’s filing for divorce and hopes to take the Tiger by the Tail and run him through the divorce court.

See the full article from “The Spoof (satire)”

By Karen Fenessey
For some, this time of year means binging on mince pies, mulled wine and laxatives. However, for others, the birth of Christ can mean only one thing: dirty, filthy sex with hundreds of prostitutes. And my heart really goes out to Tiger Wood’s wife who knows this more than most. If only she’d had the benefit of my expert counsel, she wouldn’t find herself in the dire predicament she’s in now – a whole year not rolling around in the piles of cash awarded to her family by Gillette and golf.
Elin Woods probably thought she had it all: glamorous, blonde and Swedish – men must have thought she was some kind of outrageous ‘cumslut’. However, women with such reputations are often completely clueless about how to truly please the opposite sex. I, on the other hand, have had to use years of experience in the act of coitus to compile my ultra top secret tips on how to satisfy all m …

See the full article from “Daily Mash (satire)”